i repeat my own name to myself,
after yesterday,
me, work through it, me,
get through it, me,
don't let it ruin this
well, so, the pine marten peeks
curious from the pine
and down to where i sit
at the mansion gate,
a farm, apparently,
so donβt let it consume you, me,
so jackdaw blackcap swallow
heartening so early in the season
under this cloud light
i climb on compacted gravel
and consider angles
that will continue to hold my weight
while fern heads unfurl
moss walls and waterfalls
and sun on the surface
every instance in aggregate
a message flashed
across every ridge and dip in the swash
ends at my feet in sparkling quartz
crystallised
but
i am unsure of the message
i'm hamstrung, me,
reports from the knees
and me,
my thoughts won't stop
just like the jetskis
skimming the loch,
their decibels, waves, and waves,
are me, me, me oh my,
the crushing weight of reality finds me too
in this place
and those writers write
when they have it already
no guide there
but there are moments
i admit
there are moments
when they break