ordinary time

08 Jul, 2026

my youth? sure, but look at this, pan
right on the shelf

but there's something wrong
like a hairband i forgot 
and it's pulling my scalp up
my cap too tight 
or a hair wrapped somehow 
all round my big toe 
constricting
guess i'm all given to curling
like grass in the heat - look -
a heatwave mushroom -

and my god! it's the canonical church,
the one from the cover of the watercolour paper
you just bought. and i didn't even notice, 
because something's wrong 
like the kind of place time posted
ain't just the doors opened
and this is now, not weeks ago

but kids, they don't know the value of a good pan. 
probably scrub me right off
and maybe weather's all i am now
put that in your german dictionary, yes,
petrichor patina iridescent echo
try to be

so i'm sitting by myself in a full room now
because all my friends are in the choir
seriously
it's a different church
ironic maintenance
but inside it this time
and i try to calculate by the jesus' eyelines 
the best spots to sin -
god, there are a lot of him -
and i never remember which way round the schism rolls
like does he already know?
or does he have to wait for him to tell him?
they probably text all the time
i tap in time with my arrhythmic heart
and i make the face i make when i'm trying not to cry
and why i notice that first
and then i'm not because i am
something right -
i caught harmony's causal 

i think i needed that

no lye, you say?

other things said

Yesterday :: Tuesday, 7th July 2026